Review: Bud Light & Clamato Chelada

Total Score
%
Dang! This is interesting!
Summary: Do you like gazpacho? Do you like tomato juice? Do you like crisp, cheap pilsner? Are you backed up? If yes, this is the bevvie for you.
Meal Context
Like a colonic slash gazpacho in one. Instead of callin’ the plumber, I just drank three of these bad hombres and fixed the dang thing myself.
Long story short, I invited some of the boys over to watch the Rangers game, so I bought 12 of these Bud Light Clamatoes to sip on while we watch my boy Lundqvist cover his 5-hole real tight like the pro he is. It was pretty much unanimously liked except for Bernie (not a pun) who wasn’t too keen on it seeing as how he blasted my toilet bowl with brown. He missed a sick slap-shot in the 3rd period but he surely went top shelf in my john. The rest of us were able to hold it in long enough to watch the whole game. Rangers won. Glorious victory dump. So happy to be unmarried again.
Meal Context Score: 9 out of 10
Taste
Do you like gazpacho? Do you like tomato juice? Do you like crisp, cheap pilsner? Are you backed up? If yes, this is the bevvie for you. Thing is, I can’t afford my blue moons anymore because my brain-dead ex took half, so I’ve been lookin’ for an affordable replacement for awhile and — ding ding ding — I think I found a winner 😉 I mean, the tomato flavor is nice and subtle, unlike my ex’s butt Manhattan clam chowder. The dizzy broad was a little too shaky with the salt-free Mrs Dash.
Taste Score: 10 out of 10
Look
The label is about as busy as the boys in blue on the power play. The in your face ingredients really let you know how powerful this tall boy concoction is. Plus I can fit way more in the fridge now that i never have to see her sorry chowder again. THIS is the chowder that’s louder. LOUD label. Rangers colors. Cleaner than the look on her face when i won the season tickets in the settlement.
Look Score: 6 out of 10
Stomach Effects
Haven’t I said enough already?
Stomach Score: 10 out of 10
Pros & Cons
pros
Great for the hockey game.
Gets your bowels working.
cons
One can never feels like enough.