Review: Papa John’s Chicken Wings

by Pfrozen Pizza Pfredrik (Triple P) | Oct 9, 2020 | Dinner, Fast Food Reviews

Total Score

I ate them all.

Summary: Still doing Only Fans. Got a request to try out 100 Papa J’s wings at once. They made me feel bad, but that’s OK because I love all of my Phans!

Meal Context

Many of you know that I wrote full-time for Buzzfeed in 2014. If you know me at all, you know I focused on becoming incredibly muscular between the years of 2015-2019 after being laid off by Buzzfeed. Some of my new freaky Phans now know that I’ve been growing my Only Fans page for the last year by completing some zany challenges.

Recently, many of my new phans wanted me to try Papa John’s pizza wings. Pfrozen Pfredrik is nothing without his phans. So, ya, I ate them. I ate them all.

PS: Leave a comment below if you’d like an exclusive promo code for my Only Fans page.

Meal Context Score: 8 out of 10

Taste

Because I got 100 wings, I tried all the flavors. Naked wasn’t very good. Garlic Paremsan was ok. Honey BBQ was bad. I mean, it was OK– I still ate 12 of them. Sweet chilli was alright. Spicy BBQ was one I might have liked, but I had already eaten like 80 wings already. Honey sriracha was kind of weird, I guess it was OK? Buffalo wings were good. Everybody likes buffalo wings, right? I guess I would eat the buffalo wings again if I had to.

Taste Score: 6 out of 10

Me before eating the wings on my Only Fans channel.

Look

Who cares about the wings. Look at ME baby.

Look Score: 3 out of 10

Stomach Effects

Awful. I felt awful as I was eating the wings. I felt awful ordering the wings. I felt awful when I had to use the toilet, which was a lot. Expect to use the toilet a lot if you eat 100 wings. That’s really the main takeaway of this review. Maybe get something you like doing by the toilet, like a crossword or one of those adult coloring books? I wish I had something like that. But then I got off the toilet and I still had like almost 100 wings to eat. I guess it kept me from being hungry for a few hours, which is why I can’t give it 0/10. And at least I felt something when I was in that awful pain on the toilet.

Make me feel better. Please sign up for my Only Fans! Love you all.

Stomach Score: 2 out of 10

Pros & Cons

pros

It was technically two orders of 48 wings, but whatever.

When I was on the toilet I was — I felt — it was something, I guess.

I ate 100 wings!

cons

Due to Covid, the wings were just dropped at my door, so I couldn’t tell the delivery guy about my fun 100-wing adventure.

After a while I was hungry again.

Not sure what they did with the bones.