Review: Taco Bell Breakfast Quesadilla
Total Score
%
Not So Bad!
Meal Context
“My Lord, it’s the Floating Man!”
These are the words my wife exclaimed as our bathroom door burst open and I levitated toward her in the TV Room.
I had consumed two Taco Bell Breakfast Quesadillas for breakfast and, after several painful moments, the gas began to erupt out of my bottom so violently that I found myself able to float in the air.
Pfffffffffft.
After some classic scientific doo-hickey, I discovered that I could propel myself in the air with gas for 30 seconds with each quesadilla that I downed.
Had myself quite a bit of fun until ol’ wifey had enough of the stink.
Meal Context Score: 9 out of 10
Taste
The bacon had some tasty kick that wasn’t too overpowering which helped to negate the disappointingly bland scrambled eggs. The heaping of cheddar cheese wasn’t too bad, but it wasn’t too good either.
Nothing unusual about the tortilla—just classic Taco Bell. It didn’t get in the way and helped to tie all of the ingredients together. I did find myself drizzling some mild sauce over the ‘dilla to up the spiciness.
Overall, it’s nothing that I’ll buy every morning but it’s a pretty tasty option for about $2.
Taste Score: 6 out of 10
Look
As far as quesadillas go, this one is definitely on the greasier side. It made my cousin Beth comment that I better wash my face afterwards or else I’m going to have red dot pimples on my face like a teenage boy.
Jokes aside, mine did have a nice browning on the outside that gave it that perfectly-grilled look. Definitely will make you salivate and get you excited to tear into those first few bites. Still, some points need to be docked here for the greasiness level.
Look Score: 7 out of 10
Stomach Effects
Oof. This thing will build up some gas. Usually that’s not a problem if you’re just spending time at home and winding down from the day, but if you’re getting breakfast and gearing up for a long day at the office? Watch out.
A possible add-on for Taco Bell to consider would be a couple tablets of Gas X when passing these out in the drive-thru.